Your alarm goes off. You reach for your phone to snooze, but even through your grogginess you’re immediately caught off guard.
“Why do I have so many texts?”
You begin to scroll. Revealed is the play by play of your best friend’s break up with their significant other. Ugh, you feel for her.
You want to make everything better, but aren’t quite sure how to start. While there is no one perfect thing to say, we’ve got some good things to remember the next time you’re comforting your broken-hearted bestie:
Friend Promoting > Ex Bashing
Emphasize to your friend all the reasons why she is a goddess, not why her ex is a loser. Though this may be how you feel (especially from the vantage point of seeing someone you care about hurt) it’s best to keep it to yourself right now.
Now, that’s not to say that you can’t aid in her venting process. Sitting there silent is not the answer either. Meet her complaints with, “that sucks! You have a big heart and deserve all the happiness!” not, “what an idiot, I never liked them.”
If you go negative now, when everything is so fresh and vulnerable, she could internalize and wonder if you think she’s stupid for choosing them. Neither of you needs that.
Basically, it’s kind of like how you’re allowed to make fun of your siblings, but no one else better even look at them the wrong way.
Time For Some Validation
At this point, you have two options:
- Love + Support
- Support + Love
Your friend may very well be doubting themselves and their decision-making skills right now. It’s your job to remind her that there is no wrong choice from here.
Does she want to swear off relationships?
Yas queen! Being comfortable by yourself is so important. Look at all the strong, inspiring women living as their true #bestselves without significant others! Chelsea Handler, Charlize Theron, Mindy Kaling and Emilia Clarke to name drop a few. Better change that to Yas Khaleesi.
Does she want to go play the field?
PLAY. ALL. DAY. Experiencing different people and situations is a great way to discover new things you love about yourself and others. Just remember to play it safe! 😉
Is she already thinking about rekindling things with her boo?
Maybe this was an argument-turned-rash-breakup situation, and your friend confides that she’s already regretting how things went down. Self-reflection is a really valuable trait, and you should commend her on being able to admit if she’s wrong. If said boo feels the same, then you should be happy that she’s happy again.
The Power of Positivity
Hopefully you’ve caught on by now. The main message here is to spread the love and lift up your friend in their low points. Empower them and remind them of how great a person they are.
AND- the best thing about these tips is that you can flip them around! The next time you have a rough day or go through a breakup yourself, take time to look in the mirror and remind yourself why you’re deserving of amazing things. Why the path you’ve chosen is valid. Why you’re awesome.
Because you most definitely are!