Brides popping the question to their best girlfriends have become all the rage! If you are feeling flustered about creating a bridesmaid proposal that compares to all the others you’ve seen, or even the ones you’ve experienced personally, you wouldn’t be alone. Trends such as these start off as sweet and highly praised for their creativity, but over time they become customary. This causees the blushing the bride-to-be to feel added pressure to live up to the expectation. (Now you know how your fiance’ must have felt!)
We’ve come up with an all inclusive Bridesmaid Bible to help you through the entire process, from choosing your entire wedding party (which can also be used for other major players on your big day) to finding the right words for the big ask. So don’t be afraid to bookmark this page and use it as a resource checklist, along with these helpful articles:
Welcome to your Wedding.
Planning a wedding should be fun. And yet, these celebratory events commonly become known as the experience that stresses everyone out. In fact, several studies suggest that 96% of couples planning their nuptials find it just as nerve-racking as buying a house for the first time, or looking for a job. It doesn’t matter if you hire a wedding planner (or if you are a wedding planner yourself!), or even if you have decided to opt for a wedding that is more low-key. You can’t escape the stress.
There is a reason that a million movies have been made about the chaos of wedding planning, as well as the ones that turn sweet brides into horrifying bridezillas. Most brides have at least a dozen or more moments of freaking the eff out in preparation for their big day. And when the bride is feeling the strain, so is everyone else involved.
You are gonna get you through it. We promise.
And we’ve got news for you, some of the most disastrous wedding days have resulted in the happiest marriages. Even so, we’d like to help you limit the chance of disaster. You’ve got enough to think about just planning your wedding. Now you’ve got to come up with clever and unique ways to propose to your entire wedding party? (What new ways will they think of to cause a bride to lose her mind?) Not to mention you are about to ceremoniously alter your life in ways you cannot even imagine. Getting married is nothing to sneeze at. So if you take nothing else from this article, take this: Do what feels right to you. If you can find ways to limit the strain on your mental space, do it. You will be glad you did.
As you begin planning, notice when you are making decisions to appease your Aunt Gertrude’s critical nature, or because subconsciously you feel a need to compete with your cousin Karen’s million-dollar wedding.
Check yourself. Often.
This is your wedding. Not theirs.
In fact, now would be a good time to get into the habit of asking yourself as you go through the planning process, who am I trying to impress? If it’s anyone other than yourself or your fiance’, you may want to reconsider whatever decision you are trying to make.
Choosing your bridal party is an important part of the process and your sanity. The people you ask to stand beside you aren’t just there to look pretty and balance out the altar (no matter what your mother says.) Your special peeps are there to offer you moral support for one of the most meaningful transitions in your life and everything leading up to the big moment where you say “I do.”
Manage the Wedding Woes with your BFF Attendants
We recommend that you plan some time to decompress while you move through the wedding planning process. Choose a weekly event that you would like to share with one or more of your bridesmaids. This can be something as simple as a weekend hike or joining a weekly yoga class together. Making this commitment is a good way to check in with yourself as well as those with who you feel the safest. But more importantly, it will beg you to ask the question: Who will be willing to make the commitment to you?
Staying grounded is crucial during this time, and so having a weekly mental check-in with a good friend will make all the difference in how you cope. If your bestie lives in another state, or you are battling the throes of a COVID impacted wedding, have a weekly zoom check-in with your peeps. Talking about your wedding during these times are 100% optional.
Choosing your Bridal Party (This includes Bridesmen!)
Wedding Party Obligation vs. Wedding Party Practicality
Not all wedding attendants are going to be your BFFs. There will be some that your family (or your fiance’s family) will insist you include and some who you’ll feel obliged to return an invitation that was extended to you. Or you may be in the awkward position of having to choose a group of bridesmaids to match the number of groomsmen (or vice versa) and not having a sizeable group of friends to choose from. (If this is you, don’t be too hard on yourself. Many women don’t acquire true best friends until much later in life. There is nothing wrong with you, we promise!)
Remember, you are perfectly within your rights to change the rules to what suits you and your fiance’. Women have chosen men of honor, and men have chosen their best ladies to stand next to them. They can venture down the aisle alone, or in pairs. You can borrow cousins or friends, or you can choose not to have any attendants at all. But let’s remember why having a wedding party is important— to surround yourself with a solid support system.
How many is too many?
The answer, my friend, has everything to do with your sanity, and very little to do with what will look appropriate. If wrangling up a large number of women to get fitted for dresses is going to be taxing, you have chosen too many. Once again, this goes back to the role of a bridesmaid. They are there to help you, not hinder you. If you are expected to include people who are not close to you, make sure you round out the group with a few that will serve as your emotional support.
Popping the Question
Now that you’ve made your list, it’s time for the proposals to begin. There are a variety of ways to make these big asks extra special and super meaningful for your soon-to-be-bridesmaids, so we’ve listed quite a few ideas for you to “try on” for size. Choose the one that fits you and your special day the best, as well as your budget.
💐 Give Bridesmaid Proposal Boxes. We recommend choosing a theme, but there is nothing to say that you can’t combine themes or choose a different one for each bridesmaid.
Celebration Gift Box
✻ Handwritten note
✻ Champaign with engraved flute
✻ Designer chocolates
Primp and Pamper Gift Box
✻ Handwritten note
✻ Gel Eye Mask
✻ Bath bomb
✻ Nail polish
✻ Personalized Robe or Pajamas
✻ Lip Balm
✻ Clay Face Mask
✻ Designer Makeup
✻ Organic Tea
✻ Essential Oils
✻ Candle + matches
Survival Gift Box
✻ We are partial to this Big Day Emergency Kit, but feel free to create your own!
✻ Hair spray
✻ Clear nail polish
✻ Nail polish remover
✻ Emery board
✻ Earring backs
✻ Clear elastics
✻ Mending kit
✻ Safety pin
✻ Bobby pins
✻ Double-sided tape
✻ Stain remover
✻ Breath drops
✻ Dental floss
✻ Adhesive bandage
✻ Facial tissue
✻ Blotting tissues
✻ Hand cleaner
✻ Cotton swabs
✻ Don’t forget the handwritten note!
Add a survival day poem to the gift box such as this one:
This survival kit was meant to say
I’m glad you’ll be with me on my wedding day.
It includes something sweet for a sugar high
As well as some tissues should you need to cry.
It has lipgloss for your beautiful smile
And should you break a nail, it includes a file.
A tide pen is there if you spell on your dress
And a some minty drops to keep you breath fresh.
Everything’s been placed in this handy sack
So you know that this bride has got your back.
Created with love, so you can see
Just what you mean to the bride-to be.
Keepsake Gift Box
Choose one or several of the following to be worn on the day of the wedding. Consider engraving to make it more personalized.
✻ Small studded earrings
✻ Necklace or locket
✻ Engraved bracelet or anklet
✻ Monogrammed shawl
✻ Personalized Jewelry Box
✻ Bottle of designer perfume
💐 Send Creative Bridesmaid Cards. Inexpensive, but thoughtful, there is no rule that says you must propose with a gift. Sometimes all you need is the right wording and the right picture.
For a few dollars more, make your bridesmaid invitations into a cardstock puzzle that when solved, asks the big question. Or upgrade your greeting cards to a Greetabl Bridesmaid Gift Box, which will allow you to personalize it with pictures right on the box. Consider these inexpensive but memorable bridesmaid proposal gifts for under $30.
💐 Host a Bridesmaid Proposal Brunch. Pre-order your Greetabl gift boxes and place them on the plates for your guests. We’ve got great design templates for you all ready to go for the occasion!
Creative Wording Ideas for Bridesmaid Proposals
Finding the right words to put in your bridesmaid proposal cards can be just as difficult as choosing a dress (well, maybe not that difficult.) Not every card has to say the same thing, after all, your friendships are not all the same, right? Some BFFs are ones who you can laugh with all night long, but they may not be the same ones that you feel having an ugly cry with. If there was ever an opportunity to let someone know what they have meant to you, and why you are choosing them to stand next to you on the most exciting day of your life (so far!)…it’s right now. Regardless of the gifts you choose, the words you use are just the beginning of getting your girls excited about what is to come.
Meaningful doesn’t have to be serious. If your personality is more comedic than courtly, find the funny in your method. If being more poignant is your thing, you may be more in alignment with choosing words that are heartfelt and touching.
We’ve listed some wording ideas of both to get those creative juices flowing:
✻ “I need you help to hold my dress up while I pee.”
✻ “Welcome to my bride tribe.”
✻ “Help me keep my shit together.”
✻ “Half of the groomsmen are single.”
✻ “I promise not to make you wear an ugly dress”
✻ “Now act surprised like you had no idea this was coming.”
✻ “Permission to punch if I go full bridezilla”
✻ “Shit just got real.”
✻ “Bitch, please. You’re obviously going to be my bridesmaid.”
✻ “Look at me. Getting all married and shit.”
✻ “You’re one of the only people I can actually stand.”
✻ “I’m getting hitched and I need my bitch.”
✻ “You’ve helped me through every other bad decision. Let’s keep the tradition alive”
✻ “I can’t do this shit alone.”
✻ “I heard you have mad glue gun skills.”
✻ “Turns out I like him more than I originally thought.”
✻ “It’s my turn to pop the question.”
✻ “I’ll only be a happy bride if my best friend is by my side.”
✻ “I can’t say ‘I do’ without you.”
✻ “Plan with me, stand with me, cry with me, laugh with me. Will you be my bridesmaid?”
✻ “My ‘I do’ would not be the same without you.”
✻ “Without you, it wouldn’t be a bridal party.”
✻ “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and you.”
✻ “Help make the best day ever even better by being my bridesmaid.”
✻ “I will be the luckiest bride…but only if you stand by my side”
✻ “Say yes to wearing a bridesmaid dress.”
✻ “I can’t say ‘I do’ unless you say it first.”
✻ “I would love to share this special day with you.”